Miss America: Diet Coke

This is a Miss America post. These posts occur weekly, monthly, bimonthly or perhaps never again–depending on my ability to adjust to life away from the star spangled banner.

The sound of popping the tab on a can of cool, crisp and delightfully fizzy Diet Coke is absolutely magical. I realize it is shameful to admit, but I used to drink this diet drink on the reg (the reg side of addiction). It was astonishingly flexible. A can of Diet Coke could substitute as a morning coffee or an afternoon pick-me-up. It could play a key role in an all-nighter or act as a girls’ night mixer. It was the MVP of all sodas. It had no calories and no sugar and had only mild negative side effects such as bone loss and tooth decay.

Fortunately for my bones and teeth, when I arrived to Japan, I immediately stopped drinking Diet Coke. We are talking cold turkey. No nicotine patches or inadvertent binges were necessary because I had no choice in the matter. In the realm of Coca-Cola drinks, Japanese convenience and grocery stores offer two options—Coca-Cola and Coke Zero. Diet Coke fans everywhere are fully aware that its regular counterpart has sugary shortcomings. Further, a competition between Diet Coke and Coke Zero is actually no competition at all. Coke Zero scores zero points.

Therefore, rather than sipping a light beverage in the afternoon, I now fall asleep on my desk. On the occasional girls’ night out, I no longer need a mixer. I drink my drinks straight. Life without Diet Coke has simply become a dull, caffeine-lacking monotony.

Kidding. To all the above. In reality, it didn’t take long for me to get accustomed to drinking coffee or tea in place of Diet Coke. Even though both of these substitutes can also be harmful, I am sure my conquered addiction to Diet Coke is a good thing. Although, if by some miracle of the Coca-Cola polar bears, an iced can of Diet Coke were offered to me, I am not sure that I could resist.